Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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