um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
