At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
