You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
