I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
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