Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
