Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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