I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
