He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
