Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
