You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
