if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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