there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
