This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
