lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can't put those talents on a resume
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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