i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
