hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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