Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
