i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
