I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
