Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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