I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
