Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
