Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
