i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
