By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
