I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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