Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
