this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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