I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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