he wants to bone in the snuggie
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
