how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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