i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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