Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
What a dumb baby whore.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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