doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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