I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
