So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
