i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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