You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
