sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
