I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize