Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
