Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
