So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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