sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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