Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
