I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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