In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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