isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
