i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize