The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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