The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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