I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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