omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize