I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
