grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
you made out with another girl for some wings
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
