She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
