try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize