i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
