we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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