woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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