I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
