woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is Oprah even human
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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