Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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