AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
